Halle Berryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Halle Berry

I know I'm not the only one who thought she didn't have any rhythm.

Preview Chrisette Michele's new CD Epiphany before it hits stores on May 5th.

Enjoy!

When Life Gives You Lemons

...make barbecue sauce???

Mother nature must have been getting dicked down right because the weather this weekend was so nice, so so nice. It was so nice that I just had to stay outside all day. I was just outside for no reason, just watching cars pass by. The weather had me feeling so good I decided to spark up the grill...on my own. Before I knew it the grill was full of every type of meat we had in the house...and right before I went to rub it down with barbecue sauce, I realized that there was none. Not a single drop in the entire house...



I was pissed...but thank (insert religious figure here), I'm quick on my feet. I decided that there was no need to run to the store, because I was going to make my own BBQ Sauce. Ambitious as shit. I know. I did Google it, but the recipes I found had to many ingredients that we didn't have. Poverty and Laziness breeds genius. I said fuck it, I started grabbing condiments and spices from the cabinets and them them all in a sauce pan.






It took almost an half an hours worth of tweaking but finally I had something that resembles BBQ Sauce. Don't ask me how much of what I used because I don't know. I just sprinkled shit in there until it didn't taste like Ketchup, Soy Sauce, and brown sugar soup.


THE END RESULT....



It didn't taste half bad. I won't be waiting on a contact from Food Network anytime soon, but yeah.


mother nature got that good good (that's what I heard),

KD

You'se A Nappy Headed Ho!!!!!!!

Read the screen capture below....Please wait to be offended until you read the entire picture. Or not.






What's so offensive about "nappy headed ho"? Someone please tell me! Is that really a racist thing to say in 2009?? Is that the most offensive thing a white persons can say? My mother who doesn't curse AT ALL even calls people nappy headed ho's. The shit is funny.

I guess this is because they had that funeral for the word Nigger/Nigga.

Maybe it's cause he's white.

Guess that means my white people smell like wet dog joke will get my blog boycotted...


Is there a politically correct way to say it...

Kinky haired African-Americas

Bald headed Negros

Brillo pad head jiggaboos


Maybe it's me...

I think it was a bitch move to apologize. Call a nappy headed ho, a ho! End of story.


FUCK IT,

KD

I get hype as shit whenever I hear this song.

Peep me 5 seconds ago jumping around my room like I was in the club (something that never happens).

Too bad DMX is crazy forreal now.


Opps,


KD

Thank You For Being A Friend

RIP Bea Arthur

My little cousin rocks and my aunt is super agressive!

My 8 year old cousin is now playing Little League Baseball[Instructional]. I promised him, that I would go to as many of his games as I could to show support, because I know how it feels to have extracurricular activities, and have no support. I'm also going because his dad never will, and in a sea of white faces, its nice to know that the only other brown person there is not your mother and a male. I know very little about baseball, I know common sense stuff. I can talk to the coach and not sound completely retarded. My aunt on the other hand is a fucking sports junkie, all my aunts for that matter. She just throws out jargon that surpasses my 5th grade baseball education. It's cool for her. Except she's that extra aggressive side line mom type (You'll see later). I missed the first game because I had a double ear infection, which sucked, but I made it to his second game, and the kid is pretty dope. He runs funny, has zero attention span in the out field, but he swing at pitches like life depends on it.

I took pictures and videos just because my camera batteries were charged for the first time in months and to share with the world because I'm really proud of the little monster.

I'm just gonna suggest you turn your speakers down before you watch this. Like I said my aunt is super loud and aggressive, but I love her, and her enthusiasm for her little brown boy.

More Whining

I try my best not to get wrapped up in my own feelings. When good things happen to other people, I try to be genuinely happy for them. There is nothing worse then sharing good news with someone and having them dampen the mood with their own gloominess. It happens, we’re only human.

I find that sometimes, being happy for other person is the hardest thing to do. Especially, when our own lives haven't unfolded the way we wanted, planned or hoped for. The most natural reaction [for me] in situations like that is to lash out and try to suck the life out of everyone else happiness. I've done it. And I'm good at it. Not right, I know, but I’m honest, and I’m working on it.

I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the graduation period for the longest time. I knew it was going to fuck with me, and I told myself that I would be bigger than my emotions, more mature than my need to have my life a particular way. Well…Life is a whore, an unfair whore at that. It should be me, with all the work, all the stress, all the never having enough grants or loans…ughhh….I don’t even want to go down that road again. I really can’t believe that I’m not preparing for my senior seminar and buying caps and gowns and all that. And while I’m stuck in limbo, my friends are, THERE!...prepping for finals and post under grad life, and I do wish them the best and hope that they do well…but… me being me, I want to remind them of everything that they SUCK AT! Not right, I know, but I’m honest, and I’m working on it.

To stop myself from letting my little hater take over and ruin friendships, I’ve deactivated my facebook, and it will remain that way until June or a later date. I couldn’t take all the pre-graduation preparation status updates. Seriously, when did everybody magically become a college senior? I clearly missed that memo, and it will be quite a while before I catch up. I can’t beat em’ and I can’t ignore em’, so I’ll ignore it.

But the weather is nice. I’m not totally broke. And I’m alive!

Live and let go,

KD

Watch you hop like a dumb ass...

I'm starting to realize that individuality is all relative. I can admit that I've pilfered a slang word or two maybe a few fashion tips that aren't the most popular around my neck of the woods, but I've never stolen and rocked them as my own, I make habit to cite my sources. Word to Dr. Kirby. And sometimes its easy just to pick up someone elses habits because your around them for extended periods of time. Habits yes...entire personalities and ways of life no!

It was mildly attractive before with you sharing all these idea and insightful antidote's about a life that you haven't lived. Maybe you forgot that I know you better than most. You scare me sometime with your willingness to mold and change yourself for the comfort of others who are insignificant in your life. I guess anything is better that being lonely. LIES!!!! You wonder why you life is messy and broken...because you refuse to be authentic. It makes we wonder what you would sell your soul for? and if I didn't care for you I wouldn't waist my time. Even though telling you that your perfect just the way you are is a waist of breath...I keep the faith.

I've learned the hard way that pretending to be something your not is the quickest way to amplify the qualities you try to cover up... If I see your flaws than surely they do. They laugh and mock you because now I'm starting to and I should feel ashamed but you refuse to betransparent even for a little while. I promise if you do that it will speak volumes. It's easier for people to look past the cracks when your not trying to cover them.


But I can't save your soul...

I can only wait.


Still waiting...


KD

Do yourself a favor....

Get into Chester French. They've been playing them on MTV for the past two weeks during the commercial break/ end credit shorts. I only payed attention to them at first because they had black girls in the videos. Sue me. Then one of my friends mentioned they had a decent mixtape. I just downloaded it a few night ago and it's not bad at all. The concept of the mt is pretty dope and it's an easy listen from start to finish which is rare for a new artist.

You can down load it free... here. Give it a try.

On a ledge,

KD

Spring Pick Ups

Now that I'm employed again I can start to slip back into bad habits...aka spending money I don't have. The bag is not for everyday use, its merely inspiration for me to travel.

My New Addiction

Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail...OOOHHH and Jesus

Easter or Resurrection Sunday has to be one of my least favorite holidays, besides Groundhogs day. It's all glitz and glamor and pretending to be happy, and egg hunts, and pastel covered candies. Its gross.

Luckily this year my family is at odds (Its partially because I don't like a majority of them and now subsequently they don't care for me either.) and have decided to have 3 smaller separate family meals instead of one giant one with left overs for weeks.

I really don't care for Holiday dinners anymore. The person that would/could make me excited to attend a holiday function that didn't serve alcohol would be Paula Deen...

I love this woman. The other day I was watching her show and she deep fried a snickers bar, and all I could think was... "This woman is going to hell with a bacon fat thong on."I would let her be my white grandma! Then I would seriously have the sugars (Diabetes)....Wait, I don't have the sugars...working on my fitness twice a day some days but mostly just one.



Is it time for Idol yet,

KD

BlackBerry Writings...

Just because my phone is off doesn't stop me from carrying it around everywhere I go, it's my crutch and I'm proud to lean on it. Anyway I'm sharing just a few of the notes that Have been in here for ages.

1.

No matter what you say, I already know. I know. I know. I know. Your lips can purr a lie sweet enough to suck the bitterness away from a lemon, but I won't believe you, I've learned my lesson. This time will be different. Fool me once it's just a shame. Fool me twice, and hell, I'm a fool.

Ain't that the nature of boys and girls, to always try and one up each other, to keep the playing field all types of uneven, for one side to try and hog all the goods. Struggling to find out which side knows the other best... when in reality we know nothing, despite all our differences; differences meaning penis and vaginas aren't we all just blood, water, and melanin...

2.

I find clarity in the most unfamiliar places. Today it is in a small cafe lodged between a sporting good store and TJ Maxx. The walls are cover with about 40 large scale dogs portraits. Dogs staring at an open fridge. Dogs reading books. Dogs and toilet paper. Dogs with cats. Dogs with trumpets. Dogs, dogs, dogs. I bet this cafe is owned by a middle aged white woman who has a husband that is to involved with his work to pay her any attention and has children who have long abandoned her and her need to mother to band aide their scrapped knees.

Here in this cafe' I can fit the world in my hands, while casually sipping my cream of broccoli soup. There is something so other worldly about being alone in a place where not a single face looks familiar. I could be the writer I believe myself to be scribble notes for my next article. Or I could be the black guy who ordered the soup, because it was the cheapest thing on the menu, who wants to finish reading The Joy Luck Club. It's truly voyeuristic, for me to watch the people coming in and out of the cafe placing orders, scrambling for exact change, end phone calls, and hundreds of other task that one does to push the day along just a bit faster.

From my corner, I can give them a name. I can tell their story, for the seconds that they are in my eyesight they can take on a dual persona, like the ladies to the left of me, at the oval table, with the matching red tinted hair. They look like 3rd grade school teachers, along with their red hair they have heart shaped pale faces and smiles that could warm the heart of any child that comes within 5 feet of them. They are discussing husbands and problem children over chi tea and blueberry muffins.

At the next table over, there is a mother and her two daughters that are having lunch while passing along a fourth girl, a toddler, with the pink floral printed dress, who refuses to keep still or quiet. They pretend to ignore the rest of the patrons including myself,who keep looking at the screaming child who has more than likely never been spanked in her life. Four opened handed swats right across her bum, because that's not considered child abuse.

Then there is the brown girl at the counter with the perfectly crafted French braid with red yarn weaved down the center, that keeps making eye contact with me. I take this as a means of flirting. I can assure her I'm not, my interest in her is simply because she is the only other brown face I've come in contact with in the last hour. She is a pleasant reminder that that my own skin is grand and made of things the world has yet to give a name to, but her constant staring is starting to bother me. If her reasons for starting at me are the same as mine then we quickly have to find common ground to rest on, or she will just fade into the background of my lunch time story telling.

3.

The clouds were of overcast thick, sticky, and full of disaster. The wind ever so chilly tried to coddle the the clouds into letting the sun come out just for a little while, just long enough to kiss the budding flowers goodnight one last time. It was a wasted effort, clouds will do what they want. They will mold them selves into into unicorns or fall low enough to hug ever curve of the earth.

4.

When the sky has cleared every cloud for miles, and the moon has painted my front steps in its glow, I will dance for you. I will bend the branches of the dogwood tree outside my bedroom window. I will expel my voice into the wind, and beg you to acknowledge my presence. I will put on the most glorious performance for you. I will dance until you return to me sweet heartbreak.

5.

I've waited a life time for a night like this, a night so clear I could French kiss the stars, and make love to my shadow. A night like tonight where there is nothing to fear except day light. A night when beauty refuses to rest and dances along rooftops, wanting nothing more than a familiar face to say hello and join her as she dances. I will dance with her, while I wait for you heartbreak.

6.

She was only wise enough to know him fill of contradictions and dreams
her arms so bruised with time
loves lost
loves forgotten
that she could only hold him from a distance.

But when he was close to her enough
she would inhale deeply and rest her head on his chest
she would listen to it beat with two uneasy rhythms
one for the words already spoken
the other for the words that were guarded by the tongue
that had seen one to many lovers leave amidst his chaos.

She only wanted to sooth him
long enough to kiss him.
Entangle him fingers and prayers
to quiet his heart just for a second
to see that her's was strong to enough free
and secure him
FEARLESS!



Comments welcomed,

KD

It's this house.

There is something about this house that is choking the shit out of me. I've been trying to stay away from it as much as possible but it seems like when I'm trapped inside these walls something is creeping up inside my and trying to kill me, and I wish I was exaggerating, even with an open window I still can't catch the steadiness of breath.When I'm not in this house and I'm writing ideas shoot from my finger tips like that's what I should be doing because that's what I should be doing. I've written things that for the first time I'm not afraid to share because they won't meet some gold start writing standard that no one set for me, and what I wrote is great. It's full of me and peppered with all the people and experiences I've had in this life so far.

Even on simple walks the world just becomes a much clearer place, like today, while I was walking home from work in the rain, I realized how stubborn I am, how easily I will quit anything that doesn't instantly satisfy me, how much that has held me back. I have quit literally everything I've ever started...basketball,baseball,skating, dance, Spanish club,band, chorus, the list can go on for days. I haven't quit writing though. The results aren't what I expect them to be but its the only thing that I don't really hold accountable, writing's just it for me, and whatever it is, it has stopped happening in this house.

Maybe we've out grown each other, me and the house. Maybe all that was meant to be loved and lived here has happened and its time for me to move on. And this is not me being crazy, this is me removing myself from the situation and truly realizing the truth. It's even caused me to almost hate my mother, and I do love and appreciate all that she's done for me but when we are in this house together I could throw her down a flight of steps and then walk past her and not even offer her an ounce of sympathy. It's just that bad, and there have been times when we have had it out and never have I felt as much resentment for her as I do now, but I know that it's not her...its this fucking house.

Right now, I wish I had a sledge hammer to push through windows and doors because I want to write this and the words aren't coming the way that I want them to and I feel the walls and the floors mocking me. Mocking me to the point where I would set this house ablaze and smile.

I need to get away. Away from this house, away from Delaware, away from any and everything that feels natural or normal or right. But where? And with what? I have nothing but a laptop, a disconnected blackberry, a wardrobe that is a whole year late, and most importantly no money. If I think about how much money I've made in my short life and how much I would have if I just saved $25 from every pay check. I'd have a half way decent saving so I could just get up tomorrow morning and move.

It's that time now were future planning is more important than ever. Shit, I'll be 25 in 2 years. 2 fucking years. I don't want to get there and still be planning. Even if I don't want to plan I want to be in a position where I can just move where the wind and the opportunity takes me.

But it's becoming too difficult to write even when I'm get getting stuff off my chest. This house is not my friend, and no I am not crazy. I feel this and wouldn't tell you if I didn't believe it to be the 100% God's honest truth.


Craving out a piece of history,

KD