Ha. that title was pretty catchy wasn’t it. I think so.
A friend of mine sent me this video of an odd conversation between two male family members. Its one I wish I had with someone along time ago (socks are expensive). Laugh enjoy. Share funny masturbation stories. Ill share if you go first (maybe not, but I could. I’ve been drinking)
we all do it,
KD
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
The Family That Preys (Do I really want to go)
I just watched the trailer for Tyler Perry’s new movie “The Family That Preys”, and I’m asking myself do I really want to spend the money to go see it?? I have seen every Tyler Perry play and movie. I am a fan of the plays, the movies not so much. I have seen the beauty of his plays stripped down and drawn out into these boring two hour sob stories, and this is not to put his work down. I think he is a tremendous talent. I think he’s found a way to be extremely political, socially conscious and hilarious in a way that most people can’t. He tells black stories, stories that relate to the hearts of our parents and grandparents but also to the ever changing youth. I just don’t think his genius translates into film or television. I think that he fails where most people fail in telling black stories. They ignore the black middle class(the most over looked class of people in the world) . The characters in his movies are either extremely wealthy or crackheads and that’s a not reality for most of the people who go to see his movies. People who support him are working middle class black folks; school teachers, social workers, daycare providers, and construction workers. I understand where the need to portray images of positive successful black people, when popular culture would have us believe that only rappers or Oprah are the only success stories black people have. Not True.
I have until 9/12 to make up my mind. I know that I will end up in line on opening night. Even If I don’t agree with him ignoring the black middle class, at least his making an effort to show black people in a positive light. We gotta get our foot in the door somehow.
Thanking Tyler Perry,
KD
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Without Permission..5 tips to improve your self-image
I doubt that there are 5 people in the world that wake up in the morning and say, “Im Great” with a smile and believe it. I don’t. I wish I could, anyway I found this article and over the past few months I have found it a tad bit helpful (plus or minus a few days).
Step 1: Identify troubling conditions or situations
Think about what conditions or situations about your life you find troubling and that seem to deflate your self-esteem. You may wish to change aspects of your personality or behavior, such as a fear of giving a business presentation, frequently becoming angry or always expecting the worst. You may be struggling with depression, a disability or a change in life circumstances, such as the death of a loved one, a lost promotion or children leaving home. Or you may wish to improve your relationship with another person, such as a spouse, family member or co-worker.
Step 2: Become aware of beliefs and thoughts
Once you’ve identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts related to them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — as well as your interpretation of what a situation means and your beliefs about yourself, other people and events. Your thoughts and beliefs may be positive, negative or neutral. They may be rational — based on reason or facts — or irrational — based on false ideas.
Step 3: Pinpoint negative or inaccurate thinking
Your beliefs and thoughts about a condition or situation affect your reaction to it. Inaccurate or negative thoughts and beliefs about something or someone can trigger unhealthy physical, emotional and behavioral responses, including:
• Physical responses, such as a stiff neck, sore back, racing heart, stomach problems, sweating or change in sleeping patterns. • Emotional responses, such as difficulty concentrating or feeling depressed, angry, sad, nervous, guilty or worried. • Behavioral responses, such as eating when not hungry, avoiding tasks, working more than usual, spending increased time alone, obsessing about a situation or blaming others for your problems.
Step 4: Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking
Your initial thoughts may not be the only possible way to view a situation. So test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view of a situation is consistent with facts and logic or whether there might be other explanations.
You may not easily recognize inaccuracies in your thinking. Most people have automatic, long-standing ways of thinking about their lives and themselves. These long-held thoughts and beliefs feel normal and factual to you, but many are simply opinions or perceptions.
These kinds of thought patterns tend to erode self-esteem:
• All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, “If I don’t succeed in this job, I’m a total failure.”
• Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation or your entire life. For example, “I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I’m a failure.”
• Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don’t count. For example, “My date only gave me that compliment because he knows how bad I feel.” “I only did well on that test because it was so easy.”
• Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, “My friend hasn’t replied to my e-mail, so I must have done something to make her angry.”
• Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, “I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure.” No matter how strong a feeling is, it isn’t a fact.
• Self put-downs. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humor. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, “I don’t deserve anything better.” “I’m weak, stupid or ugly.”
Step 5: Change your thoughts and beliefs
The final step is to replace the negative or inaccurate thinking you’ve identified with accurate thoughts and beliefs. This can enable you to find constructive ways to cope and give your self-esteem a boost.
This step can be difficult. Thoughts often occur spontaneously or automatically, without effort on your part. It can be hard to control or turn off your thoughts. Thoughts can be very powerful and aren’t always based on logic. It takes time and effort to learn how to recognize and replace distressing thoughts with accurate ones.
These strategies may help you approach situations in a healthy way:
• Use hopeful statements. Be kind and encouraging to yourself. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you think your presentation isn’t going to go well, you may indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, “Even though it’s tough, I can handle this situation.”
• Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes aren’t permanent reflections on you as a person. They are isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, “I made a mistake but that doesn’t make me a bad person.”
• Avoid ’should’ and ‘must’ statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you may be setting unreasonable demands on yourself — or others. Removing these words from your self-talk can give you and others more realistic expectations.
• Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Ask yourself, “What other things have gone well recently?” “What personal skills do I have that have helped me cope with challenging situations in the past?”
• Relabel upsetting thoughts. Having negative thoughts doesn’t mean you must choose to react negatively. Instead, think of them as signals to use new, healthy thinking patterns. Ask yourself, “Which of my strengths can help me respond in a constructive way?” “What can I think and do to make this less stressful?”
• Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Treat yourself as well as you’d treat a loved one. Tell yourself, “I did a good job on the presentation. It may not have been perfect, but my colleagues said it was good.”
Taken from the article: Boost Your Self-Image With These 5 Simple Steps, By: De’Laney Rowland, BDO Staff Writer
And again,
KD
Step 1: Identify troubling conditions or situations
Think about what conditions or situations about your life you find troubling and that seem to deflate your self-esteem. You may wish to change aspects of your personality or behavior, such as a fear of giving a business presentation, frequently becoming angry or always expecting the worst. You may be struggling with depression, a disability or a change in life circumstances, such as the death of a loved one, a lost promotion or children leaving home. Or you may wish to improve your relationship with another person, such as a spouse, family member or co-worker.
Step 2: Become aware of beliefs and thoughts
Once you’ve identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts related to them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — as well as your interpretation of what a situation means and your beliefs about yourself, other people and events. Your thoughts and beliefs may be positive, negative or neutral. They may be rational — based on reason or facts — or irrational — based on false ideas.
Step 3: Pinpoint negative or inaccurate thinking
Your beliefs and thoughts about a condition or situation affect your reaction to it. Inaccurate or negative thoughts and beliefs about something or someone can trigger unhealthy physical, emotional and behavioral responses, including:
• Physical responses, such as a stiff neck, sore back, racing heart, stomach problems, sweating or change in sleeping patterns. • Emotional responses, such as difficulty concentrating or feeling depressed, angry, sad, nervous, guilty or worried. • Behavioral responses, such as eating when not hungry, avoiding tasks, working more than usual, spending increased time alone, obsessing about a situation or blaming others for your problems.
Step 4: Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking
Your initial thoughts may not be the only possible way to view a situation. So test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view of a situation is consistent with facts and logic or whether there might be other explanations.
You may not easily recognize inaccuracies in your thinking. Most people have automatic, long-standing ways of thinking about their lives and themselves. These long-held thoughts and beliefs feel normal and factual to you, but many are simply opinions or perceptions.
These kinds of thought patterns tend to erode self-esteem:
• All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, “If I don’t succeed in this job, I’m a total failure.”
• Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation or your entire life. For example, “I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I’m a failure.”
• Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don’t count. For example, “My date only gave me that compliment because he knows how bad I feel.” “I only did well on that test because it was so easy.”
• Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, “My friend hasn’t replied to my e-mail, so I must have done something to make her angry.”
• Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, “I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure.” No matter how strong a feeling is, it isn’t a fact.
• Self put-downs. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humor. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, “I don’t deserve anything better.” “I’m weak, stupid or ugly.”
Step 5: Change your thoughts and beliefs
The final step is to replace the negative or inaccurate thinking you’ve identified with accurate thoughts and beliefs. This can enable you to find constructive ways to cope and give your self-esteem a boost.
This step can be difficult. Thoughts often occur spontaneously or automatically, without effort on your part. It can be hard to control or turn off your thoughts. Thoughts can be very powerful and aren’t always based on logic. It takes time and effort to learn how to recognize and replace distressing thoughts with accurate ones.
These strategies may help you approach situations in a healthy way:
• Use hopeful statements. Be kind and encouraging to yourself. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you think your presentation isn’t going to go well, you may indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, “Even though it’s tough, I can handle this situation.”
• Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes aren’t permanent reflections on you as a person. They are isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, “I made a mistake but that doesn’t make me a bad person.”
• Avoid ’should’ and ‘must’ statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you may be setting unreasonable demands on yourself — or others. Removing these words from your self-talk can give you and others more realistic expectations.
• Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Ask yourself, “What other things have gone well recently?” “What personal skills do I have that have helped me cope with challenging situations in the past?”
• Relabel upsetting thoughts. Having negative thoughts doesn’t mean you must choose to react negatively. Instead, think of them as signals to use new, healthy thinking patterns. Ask yourself, “Which of my strengths can help me respond in a constructive way?” “What can I think and do to make this less stressful?”
• Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Treat yourself as well as you’d treat a loved one. Tell yourself, “I did a good job on the presentation. It may not have been perfect, but my colleagues said it was good.”
Taken from the article: Boost Your Self-Image With These 5 Simple Steps, By: De’Laney Rowland, BDO Staff Writer
And again,
KD
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Will The Guilty Party Please Rise
Is there some unwritten rule for parents and children that forces them to bump heads? This is a serious question!
I mean if me and my mother were one complete person we would be bi-polar, and on Thursdays schizophrenic. Like the past few days she’s been my best buddy. The week before that I wanted to kick her down the steps.I also promised her that when she got old I would beat her in the knuckles with a wooden spoon. I know I’m not the only one.
I can tell you stories about friends that actually physically fight withtheir parents. Im not that bold. I’m sure I could beat my mom in a fist fight but, I don’t think I would be ready for whatever comes after that. I have lunged curse words and hurtful slurs when she gets the best of me.
As for my dad, that’s another story. I mean, It’s the same arguing but its less frequent and I always win.
But what’s the real reason we fight with our parents? Someone please, any thoughts?
On our good days my mother tells me stories about how my grandparents tormented her in her youth, and when I point out to her that she does the same exact shit, she can’t see the contrast (and Stevie Wonder can see it).
You would think that as many times as parents say, “ I don’t want to be like my parents, when I have kids” why do the end up being that very overbearing overprotecting phone tapping monster (No, my mother doesn’t ease dropped on my phone calls. Im 22 for Christ sake. She did find a rather naught txt message one time that proved I wasn’t a virgin (or If I was, I was damn good at faking it) (Anyway)).<—–that was a joke.
Does this disconnection happen on the day a child is born? Do parent throw out those adolescent fantasies of friendship with their kids and get back to basics when they stare their child in the eye?What I’m really trying to say is; where do people learn to become parents, or even better “good parents”? Most of the shit I know about little kids now I know from watching my mother. So, If tomorrow some girl was to come to my front door and throw a baby at me I would immediately think about how my parents raised me. Back to the Basics.
That means no matter how hard I try I will more than likely be the same kind of parent my parents are now. and for the most part that’s not a terrible thing. I don’t have bad parents, just annoying ones ( I mean that in an almost nice way).
If paternal instinct is genetic, then we’re all screwed. We will in some shape or form be the kind of parents our parents are.
My next question is, are we as children the ones who are really not being understanding? I mean at 22 (sorry to keep announcing my age) it took me a considerable amount of time to realize that my mother had an entire life pre-me. A life that involved a few questionable experiences and a photo album filled with her at parties with men! Dancing! (I was a little scared.) You know, mom is mom. That’s all I know her as. Not the friend, the sister, the volleyball player, the girlfriend, the college student, the party animal. She’s just mom. Should we as children just bite our tongues and do what they say and accept it as “there doing the best they can.”
Is there any real way to reach a balance? Are we just prone to not understand parents? Are they just destined to forget what its like to be 3, 11, 19, or 22.? Are we destined to forget someday? Is Will Smith a genius for writing “Parents just don’t understand”? or all we all just wired to annoy someone in the world?
Flying home,
KD
I mean if me and my mother were one complete person we would be bi-polar, and on Thursdays schizophrenic. Like the past few days she’s been my best buddy. The week before that I wanted to kick her down the steps.I also promised her that when she got old I would beat her in the knuckles with a wooden spoon. I know I’m not the only one.
I can tell you stories about friends that actually physically fight withtheir parents. Im not that bold. I’m sure I could beat my mom in a fist fight but, I don’t think I would be ready for whatever comes after that. I have lunged curse words and hurtful slurs when she gets the best of me.
As for my dad, that’s another story. I mean, It’s the same arguing but its less frequent and I always win.
But what’s the real reason we fight with our parents? Someone please, any thoughts?
On our good days my mother tells me stories about how my grandparents tormented her in her youth, and when I point out to her that she does the same exact shit, she can’t see the contrast (and Stevie Wonder can see it).
You would think that as many times as parents say, “ I don’t want to be like my parents, when I have kids” why do the end up being that very overbearing overprotecting phone tapping monster (No, my mother doesn’t ease dropped on my phone calls. Im 22 for Christ sake. She did find a rather naught txt message one time that proved I wasn’t a virgin (or If I was, I was damn good at faking it) (Anyway)).<—–that was a joke.
Does this disconnection happen on the day a child is born? Do parent throw out those adolescent fantasies of friendship with their kids and get back to basics when they stare their child in the eye?What I’m really trying to say is; where do people learn to become parents, or even better “good parents”? Most of the shit I know about little kids now I know from watching my mother. So, If tomorrow some girl was to come to my front door and throw a baby at me I would immediately think about how my parents raised me. Back to the Basics.
That means no matter how hard I try I will more than likely be the same kind of parent my parents are now. and for the most part that’s not a terrible thing. I don’t have bad parents, just annoying ones ( I mean that in an almost nice way).
If paternal instinct is genetic, then we’re all screwed. We will in some shape or form be the kind of parents our parents are.
My next question is, are we as children the ones who are really not being understanding? I mean at 22 (sorry to keep announcing my age) it took me a considerable amount of time to realize that my mother had an entire life pre-me. A life that involved a few questionable experiences and a photo album filled with her at parties with men! Dancing! (I was a little scared.) You know, mom is mom. That’s all I know her as. Not the friend, the sister, the volleyball player, the girlfriend, the college student, the party animal. She’s just mom. Should we as children just bite our tongues and do what they say and accept it as “there doing the best they can.”
Is there any real way to reach a balance? Are we just prone to not understand parents? Are they just destined to forget what its like to be 3, 11, 19, or 22.? Are we destined to forget someday? Is Will Smith a genius for writing “Parents just don’t understand”? or all we all just wired to annoy someone in the world?
Flying home,
KD
I fell in love again...
So, I heard about this girl Jazimne Sullivan a while back. I tried so hard not to like her. I don’t know why, I just did. There is just something about her name that just sounds generic, like Cassie. That name may be a little plain but there is nothing ordinary about that voice, and I’m in love. I haven’t been in love like this since Estelle (were doing good). I found this videos of her singing live for some executives at seventeen magazine. I need to share so you could fall in love too. Watch and Enjoy. Did I mention the performance was live? Live is so much better. Now Im waiting for that album to drop. Which probably won’t be until October. I hope our affair doesn’t end before then. We can have something special. Me and Jazmine Sullivan fo’ Life.
Where would I be in If didn’t know you,
KD
Where would I be in If didn’t know you,
KD
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Who Reads Books Any More?
Ok, so I need to read books. GOOD BOOKS. Several good books and since I have this 2 hour daily commute. I’ll have plenty time and the books will not only save me the trouble of talking to the boring smelly people on the bus, it will also be educational or something like that. Seriously, Im an English major and I don’t think I’ve read nearly enough books so, this is me kicking myself in the ass to get on the “good foot” and start reading more. Here is just a list of the things I want to read or need to reread (look Below). I started one book that I found just laying around the house. Babylon Sisters by Pearl Cleage. Its pretty good, not something completely my speed but its an easy read. I finished in almost a day which is really fast for me. I read slow.
THE LIST
1. The Darkest Child: A Novel by Delores Phillips
2. A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest J. Gaines
3. Fifth Born : A Novel by Zelda Lockhart
4. What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage
5. Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
6. The Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
This is the entire list so far. I know there aren’t many but I don’t read that fast. This is the best I can do. If you have any suggestions please feel free to add to my list as you see fit. The more books I read the better I’ll become, or something like that.
Expanding my mind,
KD
THE LIST
1. The Darkest Child: A Novel by Delores Phillips
2. A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest J. Gaines
3. Fifth Born : A Novel by Zelda Lockhart
4. What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage
5. Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
6. The Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
This is the entire list so far. I know there aren’t many but I don’t read that fast. This is the best I can do. If you have any suggestions please feel free to add to my list as you see fit. The more books I read the better I’ll become, or something like that.
Expanding my mind,
KD
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Its get no better than live
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a concert freak! Live music does something indescribable to my soul and I cant get enough of it. Especially when its live music done well. I have been to dozens of live shows and can tell you each of them were spectacular. This last one was no different. It was not only my first trip to Atlantic City but it would also be my first time seeing Chrisette Michelle In concert. She was worth every penny. Raheem Devaughn was there as well, he was good. His movements always remind me of watching Marvin Gaye preform “lets get it on” with the way his hip pops so stiffly. So I wanted to share my pic and videos. This is my first time uploading videos to youtube and I’m excited. Enjoy.
The Real Reason I miss Myspace
THE SURVEYS… I stole this one from on of my fellow bloggers…
1. Where is your cell phone? ……………… on the bed
2. Your significant other?……………… somewhere between insanity and the computer screen
3. Your hair? ………………………………… in need of mowing.
4. Your brother? ……………………………….my mom stopped after one because I was perfect
5. Your sister?………………………………… my dad was a whore.
6. Your favorite thing?……………………… Iced Tea with or without liquor.
7. Your dream last night?…………………. I finished a story that I started.
8. Your favorite beverage? ………………………..Iced tea
9. Your dream/goal?………………………….. To write a personal memior and change the world
10. The room you’re in?…………………….. The basement
11. Your ex?……………………………………….. wore the strangest flip flops
12. Your fear?……………………………………. never leaving this town
13. Where do you want to be in 10 years?…….some place where all the bill are mine
14. Where were you last night?…………..sitting in this same exact spot. I have the carpet indentations to prove it.
15. What you’re not?…………………………… white, employed
16. Muffins?……………………………………….. I’ll pass. Where the texas toast
17. One of your wish list items?…………. A car…nothing more than 10 years old with 4 doors
18. Where you grew up?…………………… Le great first state
19. The last thing you did?………………… watched cop and a half
20. What are you wearing?………………… my fav cargo shorts.
21. Your TV?…………………………………….. Thats no important
22. Your pets?……………………………………. He died. I cried. Currently holding auditions for new pets (dogs only) we are not an EOE
23. Your computer? ………………………… Gateway. my mistress.
24. Your life?……………………………………… Is not as bad as it looks
25. Your mood?……………………………….. moderately jovial
26. Missing someone?………………………… yes, my sanity and my HOS! *waves to hos*
27. Your car?……………………………………. I don’t even have a bike
28. Something you’re not wearing?………… socks
29. Favorite Place?……………………………… any place but here
30. Your summer?…………………………….. lets just say that sleeping has played a major role in in.
31. Love someone?…………………………….I did. I still do. maybe I miss more than my sanity.—Forget I said that
32. Your favorite color?……………………….. Brown and Blue
33. Last time you laughed…………………… “you bring me no joy!” I laughed just then. see I’m fun.
34. Last time you cried?…………………….. Lets not dig that deep.
35. Who will repost this?……………………. no one because I don’t have a myspace any more! I graduated to facebook and blogging
I get paid tomorrow.
KD
1. Where is your cell phone? ……………… on the bed
2. Your significant other?……………… somewhere between insanity and the computer screen
3. Your hair? ………………………………… in need of mowing.
4. Your brother? ……………………………….my mom stopped after one because I was perfect
5. Your sister?………………………………… my dad was a whore.
6. Your favorite thing?……………………… Iced Tea with or without liquor.
7. Your dream last night?…………………. I finished a story that I started.
8. Your favorite beverage? ………………………..Iced tea
9. Your dream/goal?………………………….. To write a personal memior and change the world
10. The room you’re in?…………………….. The basement
11. Your ex?……………………………………….. wore the strangest flip flops
12. Your fear?……………………………………. never leaving this town
13. Where do you want to be in 10 years?…….some place where all the bill are mine
14. Where were you last night?…………..sitting in this same exact spot. I have the carpet indentations to prove it.
15. What you’re not?…………………………… white, employed
16. Muffins?……………………………………….. I’ll pass. Where the texas toast
17. One of your wish list items?…………. A car…nothing more than 10 years old with 4 doors
18. Where you grew up?…………………… Le great first state
19. The last thing you did?………………… watched cop and a half
20. What are you wearing?………………… my fav cargo shorts.
21. Your TV?…………………………………….. Thats no important
22. Your pets?……………………………………. He died. I cried. Currently holding auditions for new pets (dogs only) we are not an EOE
23. Your computer? ………………………… Gateway. my mistress.
24. Your life?……………………………………… Is not as bad as it looks
25. Your mood?……………………………….. moderately jovial
26. Missing someone?………………………… yes, my sanity and my HOS! *waves to hos*
27. Your car?……………………………………. I don’t even have a bike
28. Something you’re not wearing?………… socks
29. Favorite Place?……………………………… any place but here
30. Your summer?…………………………….. lets just say that sleeping has played a major role in in.
31. Love someone?…………………………….I did. I still do. maybe I miss more than my sanity.—Forget I said that
32. Your favorite color?……………………….. Brown and Blue
33. Last time you laughed…………………… “you bring me no joy!” I laughed just then. see I’m fun.
34. Last time you cried?…………………….. Lets not dig that deep.
35. Who will repost this?……………………. no one because I don’t have a myspace any more! I graduated to facebook and blogging
I get paid tomorrow.
KD
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
