Will The Guilty Party Please Rise

Is there some unwritten rule for parents and children that forces them to bump heads? This is a serious question!



I mean if me and my mother were one complete person we would be bi-polar, and on Thursdays schizophrenic. Like the past few days she’s been my best buddy. The week before that I wanted to kick her down the steps.I also promised her that when she got old I would beat her in the knuckles with a wooden spoon. I know I’m not the only one.



I can tell you stories about friends that actually physically fight withtheir parents. Im not that bold. I’m sure I could beat my mom in a fist fight but, I don’t think I would be ready for whatever comes after that. I have lunged curse words and hurtful slurs when she gets the best of me.



As for my dad, that’s another story. I mean, It’s the same arguing but its less frequent and I always win.



But what’s the real reason we fight with our parents? Someone please, any thoughts?



On our good days my mother tells me stories about how my grandparents tormented her in her youth, and when I point out to her that she does the same exact shit, she can’t see the contrast (and Stevie Wonder can see it).



You would think that as many times as parents say, “ I don’t want to be like my parents, when I have kids” why do the end up being that very overbearing overprotecting phone tapping monster (No, my mother doesn’t ease dropped on my phone calls. Im 22 for Christ sake. She did find a rather naught txt message one time that proved I wasn’t a virgin (or If I was, I was damn good at faking it) (Anyway)).<—–that was a joke.



Does this disconnection happen on the day a child is born? Do parent throw out those adolescent fantasies of friendship with their kids and get back to basics when they stare their child in the eye?What I’m really trying to say is; where do people learn to become parents, or even better “good parents”? Most of the shit I know about little kids now I know from watching my mother. So, If tomorrow some girl was to come to my front door and throw a baby at me I would immediately think about how my parents raised me. Back to the Basics.



That means no matter how hard I try I will more than likely be the same kind of parent my parents are now. and for the most part that’s not a terrible thing. I don’t have bad parents, just annoying ones ( I mean that in an almost nice way).



If paternal instinct is genetic, then we’re all screwed. We will in some shape or form be the kind of parents our parents are.



My next question is, are we as children the ones who are really not being understanding? I mean at 22 (sorry to keep announcing my age) it took me a considerable amount of time to realize that my mother had an entire life pre-me. A life that involved a few questionable experiences and a photo album filled with her at parties with men! Dancing! (I was a little scared.) You know, mom is mom. That’s all I know her as. Not the friend, the sister, the volleyball player, the girlfriend, the college student, the party animal. She’s just mom. Should we as children just bite our tongues and do what they say and accept it as “there doing the best they can.”



Is there any real way to reach a balance? Are we just prone to not understand parents? Are they just destined to forget what its like to be 3, 11, 19, or 22.? Are we destined to forget someday? Is Will Smith a genius for writing “Parents just don’t understand”? or all we all just wired to annoy someone in the world?





Flying home,



KD