I should have been sleep hours ago. I should have went to bed right after MTV decided that they wouldn't replay The City at 11. I don't know what happened. I'm afraid to go to sleep now because I have phone calls to make first thing in the morning and I know that I will sleep until I can't sleep anymore. All this wouldn't be happening if I had stability in my life. It seems that no matter where I step there is quick sand and I am sinking fast. I'm holding on to what little I have left with every fiber in me and its getting repetitive to feel this way and to write it down but I have no other choice. If I hold it it will choke me. I just want a change. The weather has been so nice the past few days and spring always brings forth new beginnings. I'm hoping that something will grow from the dead that is my life right now. The 22nd year will soon be over. June cannot get here fast enough for me. 23. Something new. Something stable. Something tangible. Something worth my breath.
If I said it once I've said it a thousand times. This thing that's going on inside me right now is not living, and I would trade places with a million people not to be here right now. And I know the grass isn't always greener, but the color doesn't concern me.
Tired of complaining but I don't know what else to do,
KD
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