Take a Step Back

WOW! I was on my way to checking e-mail and saw this article on the news ticker.The Article

I read the article and it saddened me. I can't imagine being a child in that house and not knowing what to do. I sit here now and say...yeah I would have ran and called the cops and did this and that. The reality is I could never put myself in that position. Those poor little brown girls and boys who will never know life. I feel for them. At the same time, I couldn't imagine being a parent in that house. I wouldn't have the courage to stand in from of my babies and hold a gun to their head, let alone muster up the courage to pull the trigger. How could you look them in the eye? How could you believe in your heart of hearts that this is what's best for them? I would chose life over death any day. Most people would. Then again, I can't imagine being a black man small children and a wife and no job. I can't imagine having to come home day after day and watch the cabinets go bare and watch things get cut off one by one. I can't imagine them looking at me wondering why daddy? why?

I grew up in a single family home and granted I had more than many of my other friends who lived in one parent homes we still struggled. I remember counting out change and taking it to the bank in exchange for dollars. There was a time when we didn't have enough money to buy gas to heat our house during the winter. I remember when I was 6 and we were staying with my grandmother and my mom was trying to buy this house how hard she struggled. Hell, I remember the worry my mother had when her factory closed down before she opened her home daycare. If I sat down and thought about it I could tell you 50 or 60 more times when life here in our happy home looked dim. I never saw it. My mom wouldn't let me. Even when I was old enough to know what's going on. She never broke but people are made different.

I know the struggle is real. I know how hard it is for families who actually need assistance to get it. I know that the welfare system is setup for the lazy and undeserving. That last statement may have been a bit harsh but its true. I can't name a person I know in the system that doesn't abuse it in someway. I know there were times when my mother could have actually used it and was denied because she made too much money.

I know the struggle is real. My mother only had one mouth to feed. Imagine how a man with 4 extra mouths to feed must feel. Imagine the stress that must have been put on him. And I'm not saying what he did is justified because he was wrong. Dead Wrong. He could have found another way because there is always another way.

It's just after reading the comments on that article they made him seem like this heartless animal. I don't believe he his. A murderer...yes...heartless I don't think so at all. I think he was a black man trying to do what he thought was best for his children. A black man who saw the reality of a failing economy and didn't want his children to suffer. And this is not about making him a hero. He's not by any mean.

ughhh never mind. I'm riding the fence and I don't want to. I want to say he's guilty but there should be someone willing to understand that type of pressure he was under. People are quick to say crazy broke black man or he should have waited for Barack to fix it. And shit like that pisses me off.

I'm going to stop now before I go on an angry fuck the white man and the establishment tangent.


Praying for the brown children,

KD