Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Serious Case of Mid-December’s Writers Block

Friday’s my last day of work and I hate to say it, but it’s a bittersweet feeling. As much as I complained and wanted to shoot these kids in the face, I am going to miss them a tiny bit. Yesterday, I told them I wouldn’t be coming back after the holiday, and for the first time I actually made a real genuine connection with them. I didn’t see them as contributors to my misery. I saw them for what they were, young black men and women with their futures right before them as bright as they wanted to be; just like me in many ways. In that moment I knew that I had to leave them with something, something that would inspire them, that would keep me in their minds and possibly their hearts as they will forever be apart of mine. In the past 3 years they have went through several teachers and from the stories that have been repeated to me the reasons the other teachers left were similar to my own. That made me feel worse, I almost considered staying. I knew/know that I couldn’t, as much as I wish I could be here to teach them and help them the best I know how, I have to move on for my own good. If I was a little more giving, a little more self sacrificing I could have stayed just until the end of the semester, but I’m not there yet. On Friday when I leave here, I will be FREE, or FREER than I’ve felt in the past 5 months. Still, I want to leave them with something. I though about buying them all Christmas present but…nah! I sat and thought for a while. I came to the conclusion that I would write them a letter. A letter filled with advice and perspective, nothing preachy, just my honest outlook on the world and how much it has changed since I was in their shoes almost 5 years ago.



Now I’m having writers block. There is so much to say and to be said, but where do I begin. How do I relay this information to them? How do I make it short and sweet, Lasting and wise?



I need help I only have two days left.



Caring about the kids I want to kill,



KD

No comments:

Post a Comment