Home sweet…Wherever your not.

I’m writing this to avoid getting ready for the job I hate with every ounce of my SOUL. Yes, soul has to be in all caps but I won’t spend much time on that. I have much more urgent things to write about. This is about my “vacation” back to the school that sent me packing because of a few thousand duckets.

1. Never vacation to a place where you know the people. Its never escape an escape from the shitty reality that you know. It’s only asking to walk face first into a death trap of gossip, car accidents, and memories you wish not to relive. I wish someone wrote this before I did. I think I read it somewhere once. Maybe in Walden or Self-Reliance. You can’t runaway from your problems. They still exist. I only returned from my stressful vacation to my stressful life and drinking and laughter is the only pleasant memory I have.



2. Everyone is selfish, self-centered, and a tad bit conceited. If you ever forget that you are only asking to be heartbroken or stranded in Rocky Mount, North Carolina wondering how you’re going to get home with out depleting your savings.



3. There will always be that one person who is a walking smiling scumbag. This will be the person that you are most inclined to trust. The one who listens openly and whole-heartedly. That is until you realize that they have no heart. This is the person who will hold and twist and taint every pure thing you’ve told them, despite them knowing how difficult it is for you to trust. And no matter how many times they trick you, you always fall back into their wet wide eyed and weeping bullshit. They are the asshole and you are the fool.



4. Men can accessories and well. No bangles and bags, but ties, scarves, and hats. Can you believe I wore a hat? In Public! And I’m always self conscious about hats because I have this dip in the middle of my head. I think someone dropped me when I was smaller. When I find out who it was, I will be seeking reparations. Barack is president now. I think I can do that. Either way. A hat, a scarf and a tie can expand your wardrobe tremendously. Check my facebook. Ask my pea coat.



5. Drinking liquor for 12 hours straight with no water and no food is not a good idea. Trying to go into a hot club after that, an even worse Idea. Drink water people. Be like Nemo.



6. Never respond to text messages that involve you searching a club for someone selling zanex. Not a good look.



7. Never leave booty calls hanging. They get upset. Although I don’t understand why. If you’re a booty call you can’t get mad after I don’t call. I never placed an order. Please calm down. It’s not that deep. Maybe if I talked to you more often, but since I wasn’t horny ,and I didn’t call you ,get out of my face.



8. A hug from someone you haven’t seen in months can end a grudge. Even if you are stubborn.



9. It’s nice to know that people care for you. Truly Care. Not that fake kind of I miss you that I dread but the kind of missing that is a big hug with a running start. The kind that screams your name from a 4th story window. The kind of missing that opens a door and welcomes your barefoot and broke.



10. Open your eyes! Never think that your experience is the only one that matters. But it’s definitely worth sharing. Its why I blog.