Put that twinkie down! or the first time I realized that I was out of shape.

***I’m really about to tell the world that I have body and weight issues. This wouldnt even be a big deal if I were thin and white.***
Today is the first time in my life and looked in the mirror and felt disgusted.
That’s sad, because for the most part I’ve grown to love my features and my body, even though its not the in the absolute best shape ever but I lived with it. I loved every ounce of imperfection.
Then today happened, I was in one of those rare moods when I wanted to stand in the bathroom and take ridiculous pictures of myself. With each click of my camera I began feeling disgusted. I was looking in the mirror, then at the images on the screen, then changing the position of the camera, adding a flash. I felt great! I looked horrible. Then I felt horrible.
I have let myself go to the point of no return! I have battered and abused this body into this lump of ughhh!!
Today was the last day!
I will finish reading the self help book. I will work out. Eat and drink less.
I will be making changes in my life. I will not feel this way when my 23 birthday gets here. I will not.

I REFUSE!
And I don’t want to die at 30.

Look at what I made me.

KD