If I survived you can too..

Now that I am officially a senior in college…FUCK YEAH!!! IM ALMOST DONE!!! Anyway. I feel it is my official duty to make a list of things that every college freshman will need. You think packing for college is simple. Its not. Its a highly complex process that requires lots of planning and skill.

I remember my first year I took my entire bedroom plus an entire new set of shit. Most of which I didn’t need but I had a fly fuckin dorm room. Not really cribs worthy but I liked it.

Yeah…. So here’s the list (not in any particular order)

1. Alarm clock- a real one too. Using your cell phone is cool but a real life alarm clock is much better, and will give you a 5% chance of making it to class. (I made up the 5% thing but by an alarm clock anyway cheap ass.)

2. Medicine- oh you will get sick. a cold , allergies, migraines, scabies, food poisoning, or something rare that only happens from using communal bathrooms. Having a stock of pills and syrups will at least giving you a fighting chance of curing symptoms until you make it to the doctor. They also help as conversation starters. See someone you like with a runny nose, just politely reach over and in your most seductive voice say, “I got something for that runny nose”, then wink and back away before they sneeze in your face. They will be grateful for your kindness which can result in the exchange of phone numbers. (I normally charge by the hour for these relationship starters.)

3. Shower shoes- This should be number one on the list. It would have been number one if I made rankings based on importance. Still. They are important if you value your feet or you life. However, if you were raised by some sort of wild animal and have some extra thick foot skin then go right ahead and shower barefooted. I’ll watch and laugh. Kidding. Not really. You need shower shoes because you will more than likely be sharing a shower with more than 30 people who probably pee, shave, and touch themselves in the shower and do you really want to walk in that. I don’t think so. Unless you are one of those wild raised in the jungle people…

4. Things from home- I know that’s kinds of general but bringing something that reminds you of home can be useful. It doesn’t have to be something big, like a parent, just a little something for you to hold onto in moments of homesickness (and they will come). I found that pictures help me the most. When school is stressing me out, I just look at old pictures and try to hold on to pleasant memory to help me through that moment. Pictures might not work for everyone. So bring a pillow or a stuffed animal, or whatever makes you feel right at home.

5. ID/Drivers License- that sounds like a no brainer but you would be surprised how many people don’t have valid id until you in line to get into a club and they turn their ass away. Yes. It’s not only an inconvenience for you but your friends. And they will scold you for months after.

6. A fake Id- Because its sucks when all your friends are older and you can’t play in any of the 21 and older reindeer games. (If you get caught I did not tell you to do this.)

7. Dress clothes/Formal wear- You will be required to get dressed up at least once during your college career. It would be nice if you had more than dark denim jeans and a tucked in polo shirt. It’s just not good for business. For men: collard shirt, tie, slacks, dress shoes, and maybe even a blazer. And the ladies: A skirt (not mini hoes), a pair of slacks, a dress shirt not showing to much cleavage, and nice heels (not the club kind either).

8. School supplies- you know paper, pencil, and folders. I know a few assholes that came to college and forgot about the school part.

9. IPods/Mp3- Music shall be you salvation during times of working out, or studying, cleaning, and most importantly partying!!!!!!! Yeah…music

10. Playing cards or board game- a rainy day is a rainy day. And rainy days suck. Games make rainy days go by much faster, and again great for broke dates. Low on cash just invites that person over for a good ol’ fashioned game. It’s cute and innocent and can lead to other freaky things…just kidding.

I’ll think of more things you need to know and share later. And if this applies to no one that it was a great writing exercise for me.

1 and done,



KD