Would-Be Killer

This is the wrong time of year for me to start being lazy. I don’t understand it! I want to go to class and succeed. I just can’t find the strength to get out of bed. I can’t tell you the last time I went to my 8 o’clock class or the one that follows. I really can’t tell you the last time I was there and cared about anything that was going on. Is that bad? I really want to go to class and be the greatness I believe myself to be, but I always leave empty. Like…What am I here for? …Why are the walls crumbling? …Why can I only on focus slightly obscure wall size map of the world? GARBAGE!

I’m hoping my professor doesn’t drop me from the classes. I’m doing well. I would be doing better if I went more often but such is life. I can’t help it if the classes don’t hold my attention. It’s not my fault and I try. I do all the work and still fell indifferent about everything that’s going on inside the classroom. I know it’s not me.

I won’t complain. I have a lot of work to do between now and the end of the semester. I always come out on top. The only question is how much sleep I will lose in the process. If I sleep at all next week it will be by the grace of God, because I know I have my work cut out for me.

Life on the other side of academics isn’t all that great either. The people around me just do the most. I don’t understand it. I can be the first person to admit that I don’t have all the answers. As much as I would like to believe that I do I. I don’t. I can’t force myself to realize other people’s rationale? I can only give you a few examples:

Example 1

If you cheat on your significant other with countless no name lames and then you break up, can you really be mad if they move on? Seriously?

Example 2

If you sleep with every person you meet and try to make them fall in love with you, can you really be mad if they treat you like the whore you portrayed yourself to be?

Again, this is in no way saying that I am perfect when it comes to matters of the heart. I am a self-proclaimed emotional cripple. I can’t sympathize with these people because I would never put myself in situations like this, but can you really expect me to understand where you’re coming from; because if I did understand I don’t think I’m the type of person you should be seeking advice from. But such is life. We live and learn; at least that’s what everyone keeps telling me…



Mr. Responsible,



KD