I’ll admit that my feelings are way more fragile than they should be for a man my age. Im only 22, still at times I can be way to sensitive. With that being said I work hard to protect my feelings without having much concern for other peoples. I mean I care about other peoples feelings. Im not as cold as I believe myself to be, but in that same breath when my feelings are violated, all bets are off. Its sad I know. I should have better control of myself when Im mad, but I don’t get mad that often. When I get pushed to that point I like to go for the gold. I’ve been known to say and do things that are down right deplorable. Take for instance the events of today.
I start my new job next Friday and I don’t have a car. I live in FUCKING Delaware where public transportation is limited and for me to get to this job that is at most 30 min away, I would have to take a 2 hour bus ride each way. I have a family member that lives in the city, way closer to my new job than I do. To any sane person it would make perfect sense that I stay with them during the week. Not only to make my commute easier but to save money on transportation. I mean I am a struggling college students. I asked this family member if I could stay with them during the week. Of course I didn’t expect to stay for free and compensation would be necessary. I was greeted unpleasantly with a NO. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why this person who I share a deep history of favors with told me no. Especially when in my life I’ve only asked for one favor, and you tell me no. Then the reason I was told no was because their estranged lover was staying with them to help with bills. Then my question became if you need help with bills and Im offering to pay you, then what is the real problem? The house they occupy has substantial room to house all of us peacefully, and I would be gone on the weekend. Long story short I was pissed. I felt all my favors were unappreciated. Im not one to keep track of favors done. If I do someone a favor its because I wanted to, and I did some shit for this person. Im talking writing bad checks, watching their children while they went to get abortions, and let them fuck up my already less than perfect credit score. You tell me No, when all I asked for was a lousy fucking room, when on more than one occasion you have laid your head at my current place of residence. Some people forget where they come from . I was pissed and my feelings were hurt. All that was replied was, “plenty of people from my job commute every day, its only two buses you’ll be alright.” I felt as if they were trying to shit on me! I’m not going for that. Pressed to vent my anger I edited my Facebook status to say something like “Fuck family, your dead to me” which is kind of harsh, but like I said before don’t hurt my feelings. Don’t try and shit on me. Harsh, it was but, feel my pain and get over it.
That then became the catalyst a huge argument (I won. That doesn’t matter, but I did) that was pointless and bitchass because it was done through text message, which is not my style, but is one commonly used by this former relative and said relatives sibling. Whatever. I was then told that me and my mother were talking about them like a dog and I should be sensitive to other peoples living conditions while their working on their relationship. BULLSHIT. Your reason was this worthless ex-convict of a nigga is staying with you for money. Someone sounds like a whore! And maybe the definition of a prostitute has changed over the years but, that’s what you sound like to me . You let this nigga (please excuse my use of the n-word), stay in your house and sleep in your bed so you can get your bills paid. YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING HOOKER, WHORE, SLUT, TRAMP, HO ASS BITCH (yes, that was harsh but my feelings are hurt, deal with it). But that’s not even the sad part. You are responsible for two small black boys and what are you really showing them by letting this ho ass ex-convict ass nigga throw you a few dollars and live with you is that its ok to shit on women as long as you have money. Your showing them that its ok to be a grown ass loser and have a girlfriend as long as you throw that bitch a few dollars to keep the lights on. REALLY, and you don’t want you kids a round me. Im not the perfect example of what a black man is or should be but, I am a much better alterative than this loser nigga that you fuck you for groceries. I pray that they look at you and feel sorry for you like I do right now. YOU’RE A HO! And your whoring your self. POINT. BLANK. PERIOD. And you being mad at me because I said your dead to me. Be mad that your whored yourself for some nigga that has no reason to remain faithful to you. This dead beat dad ass nigga. If he doesn’t take care of his own spawns of satin, what makes you think you at the top of the list, believe me when I say pussy in not priceless. So in my eyes you are dead and I don’t mean that in the sense that I hope you die, but I rather not think of you anymore, you are as remembered as dead people and that’s only on their birthday’s and major holidays. I’ll be sure to put a flag on the imaginary grave I have dug for you deep in my subconscious. HAPPY 4th of JULY.
Just a note. I am not always like this. I know I said that like 5 or 6 times. I’m just not one to fuck with, and not only with the words but if need be I’ll clock a bitch or a nigga.
And another thing, the fact that you saw my status without having a Facebook proves that you and your siblings are bitches and haters. I beg you to prove me other wise, because I am posting this with the hopes that you read it and are deeply offended. So offended that, you find the balls to come step to me. I DARE YOU!
Please comment
Am I petty?
Did I go to far?
Should I go farther? (Because I can)
Because sometimes you just gotta act like a nigga,
KD
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