One is the magic number

Right now I wish I could separate myself from myself (did that make any sense)

I mean I wish I could fold my self into myself and create a master piece, origami.

I wish I didn’t feel rejected right now.

I wish rejection wasn’t so lonely.

I don’t want to understand.

But I need to understand.

I need to be hired.

I don’t want to be not hired.

I take that back.

I’m not, not hired.

I’ve been wait listed

which is like rejection limbo.

More like a punch in my face

or to my ego.

and we all know how sensitive that is.

I don’t think anyone knows how much this job meant to me. It was freedom from the stress of always wondering which day the locks would chance, which semester would be the one I wouldn’t slide by. It sucks. It hurts.

I’m not used to rejection and I don’t like the word no. I guess this is one of those life lessons. The ones that make you stronger. But I didn’t ask for this lesson. Not now anyway. Is their some way I could re pack it and return it where it came from???

Where is that fucking easy button??

needing a break from reality,

KD