Sunday, March 2, 2008

I'll Sleep when I'm dead/ The air smells familiar

I aware of the fact that I’ve made 3 post in a matter of hours. FUCK OFF. Before I tried to sleep for 2 hours before church. I just wanted to say that I’m going to see Jill Scott on FRIDAY!! TALK ABOUT FUCKING EXCITED!!!!!! WHooooooooooooooooooooooooo’s not about to see Jill?

anticipation is working my nerves and I still can’t sleep,

KD
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There is something about home that always makes my world right, but it leaves me restless at the same time. I can’t sleep but I never do. But its not the same not sleeping that occurs in dorm rooms in borrowed walls. These walls, this air, this space is mine. It might be my minds way of making sure I cherish these moments of silence and clarity. Here there is no expectation. Home just is. Even with all the stresses of life that remain, Home just is. I don’t know how to describe it. IT JUST IS.

These hard wood floors hold more history than my brain can. The days lost, the ones I wished my mind would cling to. They are here. Spilled drinks and furniture moving. the red, grey, black paint droplets. The missing patch of dry wall above the light switch, the nail holes from pictures and hobbies past. The small stuffed closet and the clothes that aren’t even mine but it doesn’t matter. This space. These walls are mine. They hold first kisses, after school rendezvous, unsuspecting death tears, adolescent depression, homework, and late night phone conversations.

If these walls could talk they would say nothing. They know how to keep secrets. Far better than me.That’s why this space is safe.

Still not sleeping but happy,

KD

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