21 years and never a Valentine. Well, there was the one mysterious phone call my senior year of high school, but that was a different me. Though the package still looks the same the idea of love that’s nested inside of here is mature or maturing, to say the least. Not much has changed in the love life. I still haven’t found someone crazy enough to submit to my gotta be in control way of thinking about love. But, its Valentines day. And I’m not sad, or angry, or depressed, or any of those other emotions single people cling to on days like these to ease the pain of alone, because I’m not alone. Sexually frustrated maybe. Alone never. However, this year I will say that I actually wouldn’t mind a valentine. It might just be the catalyst I need to jump start my love life, but it would get old quick. What would really make this day more than just a Thursday is a phone call from “the one”. Have no idea how my number would fall in their lap, but lets just say that it did, and they called. It would make my day. And no I’m not asking for any commitment or sex. Just a chance to exchange conversation on a deeper one on one basis. Because I know the me that is sometimes broadcast in public is bi-polar to say the least. I just would love the chance for “the one” to get to know me. Or to show them that there is so much more beneath the surface. or I secretly hope that they already know and see me as I already am. but this is no fairy tale. and I don’t dream of happy endings. I only dream of me never having the understanding that I so desperately hope for. But its Thursday. Valentines Day. The day of Love. Fucking Thursday. and tomorrow Friday. and tomorrow will bring sunshine. and life will go on. and I will wait for that magical random phone call from “the one”. and count the money I save from being single on Thursday. Valentines Day. The day of love.
Waiting for something,
KD
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