Friday, January 4, 2008

The Place that Sunshine forgot (Day 5)

Try looking for the courage to be happy when your surrounded by rain. Its been raining for 5 days straight. 5 long days. Its almost a little more than I can take. No it is more than I can take. I just wish I could smile. The natural newborn baby smile. A smile that is effortless and not forced. I wish I could trade my skin for just a few hours. Right now all I can do is remember what happy felt like. What it looked like. Even when I watch other people and the seem happy I know I can feel their pain. There need to escape and be free.
What I really need right now is to cry. A good long cry. Maybe after the cry the happiness will re-appear. Maybe the cry will wash away the rejection and the lonely. Maybe the cry will… I don’t know give me an emotion other than right now.
I need my momma. I need some tough love. I need love. and not that manufactured shit. The love that can only come from familiar faces and shared experiences. FAMILY, that’s what I really want. I need that.
Wishing to be somewhere else but here,
KD

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