New Years and Alone

Its about 10:22 on the eve of 2008 and I sit alone in all to familiar spaces. Now, a sane person of my same age and social position would be out drinking and dancing and laughing and living. Oh, but not me. Not this year. I chose to sit here alone with iced tea and silence. Well, choose is a harsh word rather I had the opportunity of livley evening snatched away from me by a series of fortunate events. Its cool. I’m OK. Its just the silence makes me question. is karma really out there. Does she or it exist? For along time it only seemed to be a wise tale to make you think twice about not so right actions that you would commit anyway. Now, not so much. Is this alone and silence really what I want? Or is this the workings of something greater saying this is how the other half live. Its not like I haven’t been here before. It bothers me not one bit. The alone is what I attribute to this monster of a person I show the world. So why now? why tonight? why alone? why couldn’t it be in a crowed of people with upset tattooed in frown lines? Why not in crowded clubs, praying that my wallet doesn’t get taken only to have drinks spilled on my shoes? Did I do something wrong? makes me wonder. and I usually don’t. Only give thought to consequences when failure is admitted. and I can’t speak life into that. I want to find my sorrows in a bottle. That’s, so not the answer and being even slightly drunk by yourself is pathetic and the first step in being a drunk is AA meeting and addiction is bad and so is karma. and I hope this bitch is happy now because she upsets me. makes me think like…Do unto others and blah blah blah. I guess I learned my lesson. except for the fact that alone never bothers me and I’ll make up for it sooner or later but whatever. as of right now I’ll admit my defeat to this karma. I got that ass next year though. Happy New Years.
Sincerely,
Alone