Eulogy To Friendship

I wrote this because of a situation that occurred on Christmas night between me and the person I consider my closest friend in the world. Though ,the motives behind the situation are not clear, I am sure they will present themselves when the time is right. This is just how I feel about the it at this point in time. Just me expressing my hurt, frustration, and mostly disappointment in friendship. I’m not exactly sure how this will play out, but as of right now these are my feelings.

And of all the things I thought I would out grow in my life, I’d never dreamed you’d be one of them. All that people grow apart and friendships don’t last forever shit never applied to us. You were the ying to my yang. You were aggressive when I was passive. And I level headed when you smelled blood. Look at us now. Our friendship or what’s left of it. Lost in 30 seconds of dead air space. A moment seemed insignificant. Was it that serious? Were your feelings that hurt? Was I that shut off and emotionally unavailable? Give me one good reason WHY? Just one. For 7 years you were as constant as breathing. And most of my dearest memories somewhere have your voice attached. I listened to you cry and laugh and sing (badly) and yell frustrations. You knew my struggle far to well as I knew yours. No judgments passed. Just understanding amidst confusion. You were there. You listened. Cared. And now, I really don’t know how to feel. I needed to vent. And I had no one to call. So I’ll leave my hurt and disappointment here. Let this be the final resting place for our friendship. It maybe for the best. Who’s to say? I’m left with out support. And I hear my mother say “You should never put all your eggs in one basket.” How it applies to all of life. Never consider forever past what the eye can see. Sometimes forever is just a moment lost. Reminiscent of déjà vu. Familiar. And it would be dishonest of me to not to say that the most hidden part of me wishes that somewhere these scrambled thoughts flow through your spirit. And senses are reached with a synchronized forgiveness. But if wishes don’t come true, then at least let me say thank you. For everything. No regrets held. Only replay happier times. And pray for us many more. The end.