10 random tangents

1. When I was little I was obsessed with pro-wrestling.My favorite was the Undertaker. I swore I was the Undertaker, I used to walk around the house and roll my eyes into my head and do that weird hair flip thing. I got accused of choke slamming a few younger cousins in wrestling matches, but whatever. I had to stop when that dumb ass little boy in Florida killed his sister while playing wrestling. My mom said she wouldn’t come visit me in jail ,so that quickly put an end to my dream of wrestiling superstardom.
2. I can sing. Like seriously. Sing my black ass off. And I don’t mean it in the way like the American Idol Rejects do, who never listen to themselves. I mean like I can really sing. Like me and the cousin had a singing group back in the day. Now, I only sing when I think no one is listening. I brought a voice recorder with the hope of using it for class. The only thing I have been successful in is recoding myself sing. I have a few clips of me on youtube under my stage name (I dare you to find it). So, Yeah Im hella talented.

3. I have commitment issues. The only thing I can seriously commit to is school and breathing. I only commit to school because Im scared of being homeless ,or stuck in Middletown for the rest of my days. And, well breathing is self-explanatory. Here is just a short list of all the shit I couldn’t commit to: Band, Soccer, Basketball, Baseball, Dance, Yearbook, Photography, I think I had a baseball card collection, Choir, Chorus, African American Heritage Club, Student Government, Judicial Review Board, Teaching as a major,Collected disney movies for a while, —–,—–,—–.—-.—-. You get the point.

4. I’ve had the same core group of friends since the 8th grade. And I can count on one hand how many serious fights we’ve had. I don’t know many people that lucky in the world. I thank God for my friends even when their actions are a little, lets just say “out there”. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. And yes I will name names: Ashley, Dallas, Safiya, Kyisha, Jasmine, Queta, Brandon, Crump, Krystle, Jasmine. Shrylia, Jackie, and Lauren…

5. I write. A lot. Shit is like therapy to me. It calms me down. Makes me feel necessary. I don’t claim to be great at, but I like to do it. My goal is to have a book or at least an anthology of poetry finished before I’m 30. Yeah, So I like to write.

6. The funniest thing in the world to me is to hear Jackie Berg imitate Ms. Kitties answering machine. Even though she’s done it 50 million times, each time feels like the first and that shit is pure comedy…”0889″.

7. I think I’m smarter than you. Smarter than everyone. Even when I’m not, I like to believe I am. This is how I avoid conflict. Sort of my Jedi Mind Trick. I guess it won’t work now since I told you. But, it probably will because…Im smarter than you.

8. I hate the mall. I hate it with a passion. I would never go to the mall on my own. And the sad part is its not the walking or over priced clothes. It’s the people you could potentially run into. Then you go through the whole fake conversation that is pointless and waste valuable breath. And when you catch them trying to look into your bags to see what you brought. That bothers me to my soul. Also the old people, and bitches with 5 bad ass kids who want to walk slow, and the assholes who walk going the wrong way. These people probably drive this why. The reason why Gieco has 50 million T.V. commercials, because of people who can’t follow mall traffic patterns correctly. ASSHOLES!

9. Soulja boy is autistic. Or he has down syndrome. He is famous for no reason. This is the man responsible for the song “Booty Meat’. He’s Flavor Flav’s retard bastard son. This waste of MTV, BET, and VH1 air time. The people who discovered him should be shot. I blame fucking MySpace. And God knows I love MySpace. But you can’t keep letting these talentless people become famous. Its killing me. First Cassie and Sean Kingston, Tila fucking Tequila. Who’s next???? PLEASE STOP IT.

10. I am not an alcoholic. Contrary to popular belief. I just happen to like a few good drinks on occasion. Is that a crime. A mojitio here, a glass or red wine there, a red headed slut on Tuesday, a grey goose martini as a night cap, a hurricane to take the edge off. It’s just one of the perks of being 21. Maybe its because when I chose to get sloppy drunk there is always a camera around. I do drink off camera. I just get “snap happy” when I am inebriated. Sue me. And I work damn hard during the week and Im grown shit. But I hate when people misinterpret my enjoying of life for a serious addiction. However, here are a few things I could possibly be addicted to: Jill Scott, LRG, Def Poetry Jam, Hispanic and Bi-racial people, and wondering…